SEC Everywhere

After a few tough years in a row, the University of Missouri has decided their best strategy is to just not show up to any conference games and hope people forget about them. “It’s called the George Costanza strategy,” said Mizzou athletic director Jim Sterk. “If we just show up to Big 12 games and skip all of our SEC opponents, maybe people will forget this whole thing ever happened.”

It wasn’t always this bad, when Missouri first joined the SEC they made it to two straight conference title games in Atlanta, but things quickly took a turn for the worse. “We won the East two years in a row and thought ‘well this doesn’t seem right.’ But it turns out not winning games is a lot less fun.”

The Tigers hope to one day return to their glory days, back when opposing fans remembered they existed and TV announcers could remember who their coach is. Unfortunately, those days are long gone, but by not showing up to play, Missouri has its best chance of conference success all year.