SEC Everywhere

Before the big week one matchup between LSU and Miami in Texas, local and state officials have been brainstorming on how to prepare for a potentially massive problem. How will Miami fans and LSU fans communicate with their deep, deep difference in culture and language? That’s why Texas governor Greg Abbott sent in a call to FEMA this week to send a contingent of supplies along with hundreds of translators.

“Our country hasn’t experienced a crisis like this since Alabama played against West Virginia in Atlanta,” said Governor Abbott. “That game ended with Bama fans screaming Rammer Jammer into a pile of burning couches so we can only hope this goes better.” The plan is to station a translator outside of every entrance to the game, as well as every restaurant in Dallas that sells corn dogs and nightclubs that play Pitbull.

Coach O had a lot to say about the matter, but unfortunately his translator had not yet arrived so his comments are unknown at this time.