Tag Archives: SEC East

Gators Prepare to Run Hail Mary Only Offense

After shocking Tennesse on the final play of the game with a 60-yard touchdown pass for the win, Jim McElwain and the Florida Gators have decided to install a full Hail Mary only offense ahead of this weekend’s game against Kentucky. It may seem like a risky strategy, but for the Gators, it’s about the only real thing they’ve proven they can do.

“I tried running a balanced offense with route patterns and run schemes, but that didn’t seem to work,” said offensive coordinator Doug Nussmeier. “So now I’m just gonna tell Tyrie Cleveland to run really fast and tell Feleipe Franks to throw it really long, and we’ll just see what happens.” The Gators are calling it the jailbreak offense in honor of all of their suspended players.

Meanwhile, Kentucky coach Mark Stoops is fully aware of the Gator’s plan to score points on Saturday and has a plan to stop it. “I mean as long as we don’t completely shit our pants and run the wrong direction like Tennessee did, I think we’ll be OK.”

Georgia Fans Spending All Week Trying to Find Notre Dame on a Map

As their monster game against Notre Dame draws closer, Georgia fans are beginning to experience one big problem…what state is Notre Dame? “Every team we play is pretty easy to find,” said Bulldog fan Teddy Binsfield. “We playing South Carolina? We drive to South Carolina. We playing Tennessee? We drive to Tennessee.  Nowhere on this map is there a state called Notre Dame.”

It’s an unusual problem for Georgia fans, who most think anywhere north of Kentucky is Canada. “I haven’t renewed my passport since my trip to New Mexico in the 1980’s, better see if I can get a new one real quick,” said Teddy.

Officials at the Notre Dame cathedral in Paris, France have already reported sights of very confused Georgia fans. One family of Bulldog supporters reportedly walked into The Louvre and asked if this was where Rudy lived.